This post brought to you by the letter S

So you may or may not have noticed that I took a little break. It was not intentional but rather forced. Our laptop broke and even though Myers thought he could fix it he could not. Right now I am hunkered down on the floor like a Neanderthal using his mcguyvered version which btw is really just throwing a sack of baby carrots on top of the power source so as to now allow it to wiggle too much whilst holding my mouth very still and not exhaling to heavily causing said bag of carrots to flop out of the way. It is uber classy and may or may not have led to several lost documents and or crazy outbursts full of swears.

So onward and upward .

We have been ground zero for boogers and snot the last three weeks. It started with thing one and trickled through all  the other three leggereds in our family. I figured that it had skipped me on account of my female status, read I am not gross and do not revel in all things of the vile variety- except gas cause let’s face it rouge farts are pretty funny. I watched as our tissues and Sudafed use went through the roof. At one point I was a little worried that someone might think that we had a very tiny meth lab in our basement. I did my best to be supportive while keeping all of my loved ones at arm’s length. I even considered singing the boys their night time song over a walkie talkie but since I lost the charger changed my mind. Brice was the last to get it and I thought we were all home free but alas I counted my mucus free chickens a little too early. I woke up last Tuesday a little congested and a lot uncomfortable but joined the Sudafed train and went to work. Every day it got a little worse but I denied being sick because If you say it aloud then you know it is true. Friday night I started losing my voice and by Saturday I sounded like a honking chicken but I still held out hope I was not sick. Then Sunday morning when I recreated a scene from the gremlins in my bathroom sink I knew there was no denying it and reluctantly went to the doctor. Luckily for us we have a clinic that is open on Sunday so while the boys went to find Jesus I went to find out that I had pneumonia. Just for fun I contracted a form that is not quite identifiable. It could be viral or it could be bacterial but it was defiantly pneumonia. The doc said that if it was viral it would be combated by zinc and then go away but if it was the other kind I would need to go on antibiotics so he gave me a scrip for that and some cough syrup and sent me on my way.

So there I was in the Walgreens croaking along like Kermit trying to give the pharmacist my current dets.  When we got over the Q and A’s she informed me that the cough syrup prescribed was not covered by my health insurance because it used to be over the counter. She then tried to bilk me for 19 bucks for this crap. Mind you I am sick as a dog and can barely breathe but you better believe I used all my strength to inform her that was crazy and that I did not need the cough syrup that badly. Turns out that the only thing stronger than pneumonia is cheapness.  I asked for directions to the zinc lozenges and walked away. It was like insult to injury when I got there because those stupid cough drops were 6 dollars for 18 of them. For that kind of money I could buy some really great chocolate and cross my fingers that this thing is cured by the cacao bean.  I bought the things popped one in my mouth and slinked home. Halfway home my mouth stated to taste like a gnome had died up in there and so I did the only rational thing I could think of. I chewed that bugger and chased it with lots and lots of water. Twenty minutes later I was nauseous and sweating and it was then that Brice discovered that I had broken all rules of zinc consumption. Who knew there were rules for these things?  

So let’s recap, if you admit you are sick you will have to pay a whole lot of money to take things that taste gross and make you sicker. But on the upside you will get to watch a lot of really crappy fox TV.  Wait crap that is also a punishment. Sickness- helping no one ever.