Every now and again when my world is silent and I am alone with my thoughts I take a good hard look at my life. A few weeks ago I found myself in this very situation. My sister was in town and we were planning a girls afternoon and as soon as I left work I was to call so that we could meet up. My sister decided that the place to rendezvous would be Nelson's custard. My mom invited me over and said that if I hurried she would buy me ice cream. Oddly enough this offer did not leave me squealing tires and yelling angry slurs at unsuspecting idiots unlucky enough to find themselves in the crosswalks. I found this troublesome until I found the reason why. My belly full on ached and there was no way that I could fit another thing in there. I tried to be optimistic and convince myself that it was because it was full of nutritious leafy things when it reality it was full of a brownie and a cookie and a half a creme brulee cause you know I practice restraint. It was then that I started to feel like maybe just maybe I had a problem.
I stumbled upon a video a few days later about giving up sugar for 30 days and for some stupid reason I thought hmm this could be a good plan. I once looked into a program called whole 30 where they ask you to give up everything but air and allow you to eat like 3 twigs a day so long as they don't have salt on them. They have this rhetoric about how fighting cancer is hard but giving up sugar and all manor of delicious things is not so with that cockamamie idea floating in the old noggin and bolstered up by the staff of Buzzfeed I made the announcement at work that I was going to give up sugar until the end of June. Let it be said that this is perhaps the stupidest thing I have ever done and I have done some cosmically stupid things.
So here we are skidding into the end of day 8 and there has been much weeping and wailing and swearing. I would like to tell you that I feel better but lying really isn't my thing. I would also like to say that the cravings have subsided but last night I caught a whiff of a nilla wafer and Lord knows if I had a soul I would have sold it right then and there for a tiny snackrell of it.
So now you know why the posts have dried up. Focusing on anything other than not licking the popsicle drippings off the sidewalk has not really happened for a while now.
So here is to another 22 days of torture and suffering so that I no longer have to introduce myself with the number of days I have been clean.
