I have spent the last week of my life with exactly zero exciting things happening.

I have racked my brains, looked through my pictures, replayed the most mundane of all the days events and to no avail! It turns out when all you do is work and raise teenage hamsters not a lot of things are noteworthy.

I can tell you however that I am about ready to flea the country as long as it means that I get to leave my offspring behind!

The newest threat from Thing 1 who is now taller than I am BTW is that he is no longer going to eat. If he gets in trouble, if he has to turn off electronics, if he is asked to let the dog out. Really any and all things lead to this threat. Yesterday he laid his whole self out on the couch and refused his nightly sustenance. When I explained to him that if he is going to act like a 3 year old he is going to have to go to bed. His response was that he was clearly not a three-year-old because a 3-year-old was not courageous enough to miss all the meals provided him. In case you are wondering neither is he.

I suppose I should be grateful that this is his latest and greatest because at least hunger strikes are quiet. For the last couple of weeks, he has also taken to yelling at ear shattering levels. Then again, I probably don’t have to tell you this whereas you no doubt have heard him all the way over in Cal-I-for-ni-a! The things he yells are downright comedic. I mean at least they would be if I wasn’t worried that he was causing me to go deaf and all. I am making him go to trek which is apparently the same as torturing him. He got in the car after having to learn how to square dance and was then denied a treat because they ran out and told me that in no uncertain terms would he be going. He then informed me that he was going to eat soap and die and that would then teach me not to push things on him. I have also had him tell me that he is going to burn down my house, cut my car in half, and shatter all the windows in my house which has led me to wonder if I am raising the hulk. I would actually support any and all of those actions if I got to watch any of them transpire. I mean to tell you I have watched the kid try to light a candle and use 45 matches so I feel confident in saying that my house is safe.

Really though my favorite is when he tells me he is going to run away and then proceeds to try to slither all of his giant uncoordinated self out his bedroom window. It is a tall window but only 18 inches from the floor which is problem number one.  There is no real good way to attack hurling oneself from it. It also has a giant tree that sits approximately 3 feet from it so as soon as any body part exits the domain it runs smack dab into a trunk. The show is even more spectacular when he is trying to jump on his huffy bike and pedal away. I am telling you hormones are the best!

Today just as I was reorganizing my finances and seriously contemplating selling a kidney on the dark web to pay for boarding school because I can take no more something amazing happened. He came home from school and got his cleaning assignment and did it! He then went on to vacuum the living room floor and bring all of his laundry to the laundry room and unload the dishwasher. I thought about questioning things but it was so glorious that I decided not to jinx it. Then I was reminded that that same sulking angry boy is the one who made me a mom. The one who had giant blue eyes and an ET finger that pointed at all the things with wonderment. The kid who loved to be outside and ride his mach 5 which was just a ghetto trike from the 70’s. The boy whose greatest wish was to ride the bus to school and who thought I gave him the world when I talked my brother into giving him a tour of a bus compound when he didn’t qualify for school bus riding. The same kid who giggles at my jokes and tells me he loves me every night and still tries to climb on my lap even though his lap is officially bigger than mine. That is when I realized that I don’t need exciting, I don’t need adventures, I don’t need the world simply because I already have it. Even better I have it for eternity.