Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Mr. T and me
I have always loathed school. That is not to say that I hate learning. The practice of learning is fine, it is the homework that I have always hated. As some cruel cosmic joke the homework load that Thing one and Thing two carry home each day weighs three hundred pounds and causes me to curl up in the fetal position. Every day I am more and more thankful to be American because if this is what our education system is piling on imagine what the poor Asian mothers are dealing with! We generally can make it through math with a minimal amount of crying which Thing one handles like a champ and dutifully brings me tissues and hot chamomile tea. Spelling however is a whole other beast. I truthfully can not spell my way out of a paper bag. I learned how to read by sight so sounding out words is like asking a cat to be nice. If spell check had never been invented there would be no way that I could pass as a semi intelligent human and would have long ago been the headline in a newspaper toting the amazing abilities of the chimp who escaped the zoo. You can imagine then trying to teach another person to spell. One of the words this week is pitied which I had to Google to confirm was in fact a real word. When it came time to practice with Thing one he asked me to use it in a sentence. Without missing a beat I said- I pitied the po' fool who messes with me. I may or may not have even done it in a faux Mr. T voice. This joke was lost on him but I am still going to count it as a parenting win. Mother of the year here I come!
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