Monkey business

I have not seen my person since Christmas and have been trying to get to Boise since October so setting aside all rational thinking and subjecting ourselves to what can only be described as road torture we headed to the other part of Idaho. The drive would have been a whole lot less crappy if we had not just returned from a whirl wind trip to Salt Lake City two days prior but hey you are only middle aged once so we soldiered on.

Sammy has been talking about his beloved auction for months so we decided to check it out. Only Sammy was still in the aforementioned city of Salt Lake so we went with out him. You would think that Karma would punish us for such an egregious act but it was quite the opposite. We were blessed with this.

You are seeing a real live monkey. What you are not seeing is that she is wearing a diaper. I really wanted to take this picture but wondered if that was bad manners. Luckily for us all my BIL decided that monkeys in public trump manners so he snapped this. Two seconds later this monkey got thirsty since she was eating a salty pretzel, which you know is probably part of her native diet so she turned to her companion and stole her Snapple. She stuck her monkey tongue in there and then wrapped her whole mouth over the opening and then resumed her snacking. I was appalled since monkeys have no business drinking Snapple but then a far worse crime happened. The girl straight up just kept drinking out of the bottle without so much as an obligatory wiping off of the germs. I judged her for her creepiness, silently of course sine what do you actually say to that? 

Remember how I said it was weird that Karma had blessed us for leaving Sam out of the equation. Turns out she was just a little late.

We went swimming and as I was sitting on the deck wondering why people even like to swim Thing Two came over and announced that he had puked in the pool. I have dealt with a lot of weird comments in my 10 years of mothering but this was a new one even for me. I walked over and sure enough he had spilled the contents of his belly right there on the edge of the pool. He had almost made it out but the thirty pieces of red vines rolling around in his guts must have slowed him down. I grabbed a towel and got what I could off the concrete and then walked out to inform the front desk. He said it was OK to keep swimming and I thought sure why not if I kid can whiz in the pool surely a few chunks is fine to. Turns out not so much. We ended up being the reason the pool was closed for the night. They did let us walk across the parking lot and use the other pools hotel. That was an awkward walk of shame to say the least. Hi we are the creepy parents who let their kid swim in his own vomit but we promise promise swear that we won't hurl in your pool MKAY MKAY. 

Perhaps none of this would of happened if only I had given him the obligatory wipe down from germs. You win Karma you win.

The culprit. You can tell I am a good mom since I fed him MORE sugar after he vomited. 

The non Puker